My Sweet Little Girl

It seems like such a long time ago that my daughter was a small toddler. She loved to watch all Disney movies, color, and learn whatever she could. I think I saw Mary Poppins more times than I cared to but I am glad it is those movies that interested her instead of something violent. I remember the many colored pictures and usually in the lines. I was always afraid to throw any away because I thought it was being mean to her. I thought I was saying you are not good enough. Yes, I do have them in a tote buried with hundreds of school papers. I will someday have them all in a scrapbook, someday.

She was my first born and so I learned many things from her. I found out if you allow her to sleep all the time with you, it’s a bit difficult to teach her to sleep in her own bed. She definitely was my night owl. She could almost out last me when it came to going to bed. Luckily, when she began kindergarten, she discovered bed time was a good thing. I assume the day wore her out enough that she began to like sleep which was a blessing for me.

When her baby brother was born, she was determined that he was not coming home. She didn’t want no sibling. When I did bring him home and she got to hold him. She looked up at me and said, “I guess we can keep him.” From that moment on, she became mother hen to him. She was a good little helper. As the years have gone by they tell me more stories of how little missy wasn’t always so nice to little brother. I am glad they can laugh about it and it makes me happy to see they love each other.

I recall a time when she had a friend over to play and they were giggling in her room on the top bunk of the bunk beds she shared with her brother. When I walked into the room they quickly covered something on the bed. I walked over and pulled the cover up and oh my goodness. They had taken several different soaps, lotions, and liquids and mixed them altogether on the bed. My first reaction was thank goodness they did not chemically react. It was a mess to clean up. She got a chewing for that one. No she did not become a scientist.

Oh, the years of girl drama. I could go on and on about those but I won’t. It definitely was an interesting time. As most teenagers go through periods of insecurity so did my beautiful daughter. I now know there were times she felt she couldn’t come to me for help and I so apologize for giving her that feeling. It was never my intention to be like that. I thank whoever and however she made it through those times. I remember being like that. I made it through with determination and writing in my journals. I see the same determination in her so I am glad she is a strong person even if she thinks she isn’t.

As she blossomed into a young lady with her whole life in front of her, she asked to join the Army. I think my mouth dropped two stories. It was very difficult to see her leave for boot camp two days after she graduated high school. I couldn’t have been more proud that she knew what she wanted to do. She was born to be a leader. It was in her from the start. She just didn’t always know or get the chance to prove it to herself or to others. She has been serving the United States Army Reserves ever since.

Life didn’t completely go as planned. She made mistakes and family tensions have been there. The one thing I had hoped she would never have to experience, she did. She lost her baby boy to a miscarriage. I can write words but when it comes to saying them, I simply suck at it. I didn’t say what I felt and it gave her more insecurity from me. It created a whole big mess for the good part of a year while she was deployed serving her country. When she came back I let go of all bad feelings and our relationship has blossomed. It’s like having my little girl back again only she has become the most beautiful, determined, and strong young woman any mother would love to have.

She has achieved her college degree, been promoted in the Army Reserves, and balances two jobs. I couldn’t be more proud. She is a survivor. She has proven that no matter what obstacles get in the way she will conquer them. It is the best feeling in the world to know your child can take care of themselves. I look forward to all the ups and downs we will travel together as a family.

Loved you then, love you now, love you forever, Mom.