Wednesday, I got a text that my mom was in the hospital with a blood clot in her leg. My Aunt, her youngest sister, said she had to talk her into having it amputated because she has problems all the time and their mom, my grandma died of a blood clot in the leg when I was jr. high?

I need to find her letters; she was great at writing to me and keeping me from hating my mom. I know sounds really awful. It was a time that my dad’s family thought bad of her and said things they shouldn’t. I eavesdropped to, a snoop.

My dad got custody of me when they divorced when I was 2. Proved she was unfit. She was wild. Hence the 70s. So that stuff went on with families, they aren’t bad people just the way things were. I didn’t hate her but was very confused why I never saw her. Well, she lived in Montana and me in Kansas, long distance to travel when you don’t have much money and other kids.

I won’t go into personal family stuff just say gossip was big in our family, I listened when they didn’t know I was listening. I actually have memories of her when I was 2, say no way, yes way I remember her and my brother M. I felt a connection to him and have more than my other 2 brothers and sister. I don’t have many memories like one does with parents, so the connection is not there.

She had a motorcycle wreck in 8th grade, think remembering right. Broke her neck and in the hospital was the first time I ever got to see her since when I was little, and they split. Talk about weird. Not to mention a confusing age a girl needs her mom.

I stayed a few days with her two sisters and had a blast. Super nice and I needed that. Brother M is older but the other 3 siblings were very little. It was fun, remember holding my sister as a baby. Her new husband wrecked to but not as bad as mom. The doctors told her she would never walk again. She said bull and walked again! Stubborn and determined. I guess that is where I get it from.

It was scary seeing her neck being pulled with weights. That’s what I remember her looking like. I didn’t even get to hug her. I think that had a lot to do with my actions through jr high and high school and even 20s. I was messed up.

But glad to say she stayed with us when I graduated, and grandma loved talking with her. They both liked the Enquirer. lol My friends were confused who she was when we went to the party because they knew grandma as my mom. Yes, both my parents were known to go partying with me. We all had the wild gene.

I did get to see her several times after graduation. It was nice getting to know her and my siblings. Still, we all have our problems, but we are growing out of them. My dad has passed, 2012, cancer, smoked a lot. He was in and out of my life, but he was a fun dad. Great memories and its own confusing ones. I haven’t seen mom since 2010 when my younger brother passed. He had a seizure. 😦

My mom made it through surgery, cut her left leg to the knee. My brother M is there, hopefully get things done so she is taken care of. Sucks to be sick and can’t be there. Maybe this summer.