Posted in Family

Yearly Percentage According to Me

I think I am at 50% on being back to a new normal me.

The stroke took a lot from me, personally. I feel for anyone who has had a disability after knowing being normal not having a disability. I at least had a normal life for 50 years, so I see this as a reset to begin again.

It’s like beginning at toddler stage. Relearning to walk, talk, eat, and comprehend. I still don’t know for sure why I had the stroke other than blood pressure but am so thankful my vessels and heart all checked out ok, so need to keep it that way so another one does not happen again. Or I might not get another chance to be here.

My mind goes over things all the time like a writer thinks of plots. Well, it could be this or that and I have to stop thinking about it. But my mind and imagination continues. Maybe it will become a book someday, lol.

I can’t remember after the hospital in JC and the flight to the hospital in Kansas City. I’m so glad the daughter was living there then; she was a big help and being there for hubby and me.

Don’t remember hubby or the daughter being there until a few weeks after. I do remember the oldest son visiting and holding my hand probably because he had to come from far away.? I had weird thoughts until I fully came down to earth. One was when I had the MRI done and the music and noise made me cry and I thought I was in a flying saucer. Another one was with hubby in a room waiting, I assume another of the many tests, and we were being guinea pigs to whether we could withstand fire. Weird. Yes, we did make it.

The mind is a crazy thing.

It was great that they let hubby stay in the room with me the whole time. He went to the daughters for a shower and a break here and there. It took almost a year to quit being afraid to be alone. I was always a loner so was a new experience for me.

At first, I walked with a cane and some use of a wheelchair, thanks to hubby’s dad, RIP, gone a few years. Balance was a struggle, but therapy helped a lot. Talking was a struggle but therapy helped and eating then my teeth went bad. Frustrating, but bound to happen. They even ruled out my teeth as a reason. Again, maybe it was, ? I had them for 20 years longer than the periodontist thought I would have.

I say this year has been ups to recovering. I’m talking better even with no teeth. I think it will take a little longer for the dentures to work like they are supposed to work. I have learned to eat with out and the family has learned to cut stuff up for me. 🙂 The balance is better but still not where it should be. My stroke arm is way better I can least use it just not like I want to. Need to build more muscle, hubby’s working on the gym area in the basement. 🙂 I still get tired easily but not to the point to close my eyes but sleeping at night is better. I used to sleep so heavily and often so weird now, but reading has helped in fact I yawn when I start. lol My body at times I can feel like nerves are waking up. So weird, call me weird.

Again, I think I’m at 50% to the new normal.

I can smile facial muscles are coming back, now to get arm working so I can do my hair. Not good at the one-handed left hand. But thankful I have it.